This page is mostly dead.

There is a problem with the page you are trying to reach - it is mostly dead. If it were all dead, there's only one thing you could do - search through your pockets for loose change, and buy a chocolate covered miracle pill (i.e. a Snickers bar) from the vending machine to console yourself.

Please try the following:

  • Click the Refresh button, I mean it! Anyone want a peanut?
  • If you are viewing this page with Netscape, you have probably not yet been attacked by the Dread Pirate Gates. Try changing to Microsoft Internet Explorer before Pirate Gates attacks your ship!
  • If you are smiling, it is probably because you are not left-handed. Try using your other hand when typing in the URL. Alternately, you can try Bonetti's Defense.
  • Ever heard of Plato, Socrates, Aristotle? Idiots! Even they couldn't figure out why this page is mostly dead.
  • If you are wondering where you are, you are on the Cliffs of Insanity. However, if you need answers from Microsoft, feel free to search the pit of despair.
    If you are looking for the man who killed your father, click Search for the six fingered man.
     
  • If you are trying to reach a secure site, you probably have to get by the 60 passwords and security notices at the gate. Go find yourself a holocaust cloak and a wheelbarrow, put on the cloak, and light yourself on fire as a friend rolls you toward your monitor.
  • If you have tried everything else, it is time to fight to the pain. "To the pain" means the server leaves you blind and dumb, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
    Click the Back button if you think you have the strength.
     

    HTTP 500 - Inconceivable! server error
    Internet Explorer